SEO Joke

Bad Seo company offering services to a client and the phone conversation continues after the initial contact. It is just an illusion written for pure fun, no offense intended to anyone whatsoever.

SEO Company: Thanks for your time, as we discussed earlier - our company provides services which will increase business sales online by 300% and with 100% gauranteed number 1 in search results.

Client: (20 years in industry and finally God has shown mercy, this is too good to be true. I guess, technology has improved so much)
What kind of packages do you provide?

SEO Company: We provide Aluminium, Silver, Gold and Platinum packages

Client: (What kind of a package an Aluminium could be?)
Can you explain me the services?

SEO Company: Link Farm, Organic, InOrganic, BlackHat, BlueHat, WhiteHat, GrayHat,..

Client: (hmm, I got to be careful, doesn’t relate to Search engine topics looks like he runs his own farmand retail business and oh wait a minute, did he talk about my company’s business sales or his?!!)

SEO Company: ..SEM, PPC, SEO

Client: Ok Ciao, Bye
(C hangs up phone)
(S dials again)
SEO Company: I think there was a misunderstanding, I mentioned S E O, and not Ciao..ha ha (he doesn’t have a clue of what I am talking about, best place to reap)

Client: (You want to do business with me and yet laughing, you are a dead meat today)
I want to get my Web site listed in the first page on all Search engines

SEO: Oh Sure! that is peace of cake!!

C: But you didn’t even ask me for what words?!

SEO: It doesn’t matter we will choose the keywords for you and we won’t charge for that

C: You can do that, but additionally I want the website to show up for keywords
such as Google, Baidu, Yahoo, MSN, Altavista etc.,

SEO: Yeah, we will get your site listed in those Search engin..

C: No, I meant I want my site to be listed for those keywords in the first page

SEO: (Gulp) (if we could do that why would I be talking with you right now?!)
Yes, yes. We can have a combined strategy for this, by using your keywords and ours at the same time.
Like combining “google, your company name and zipcode”

C: But then, other than you and me - no one will search in that way, isn’t it?

SEO: (Alarmed) Thatz true, but we are going to market website with zipcode and company name in adwords and in other places.

C: Why would I want to market a zipcode?

SEO: Location is everything, we will triple your unique visitors within3 months.

C: Currently I have 6 unique visitors, so are you saying that I will have 18 visitors only?

SEO: That was a proportionate talk, you know what I mean? We are SEO professionals running business from 1955

C: Did you know when Tim Berners Lee birthday?

SEO: Tim who?

C: I guessed so!